Slytherin
You know the Slytherin types. They chose their Hogwarts house and never looked back. Not the ones who took seventeen quizzes online until they got Gryffindor and begrudgingly accepted their fate. We’re talking about the ones that got Slytherin where they just nodded, because it felt right. Ambitious? Sure. Snake charmingly devious when it benefits them? Double sure. Proud as hell of the house they represent, and loyal to those who have proven themselves worthy of that loyalty? Absolutely. The bad guy of the story? No. And they’ve stopped trying to explain themselves to people who weren’t listening a long time ago.
Shopping for them can be tricky. As far as branded merchandise goes the universe of Slytherin stuff is massive… and most of it is lazy. Cheap green and silver paint flecked on a laptop skin. A kick-stamp of the crest bumped off centre. Things branded as “Slytherin” that don’t really understand what Slytherin means to the person who actually wears it as a badge of honour, instead of donning it like a Halloween costume one week in October. We aren’t interested in doing that to these gifts.
Instead, we looked for things that we think an actual Slytherin would want to own. Items that feel thought-through, as opposed to churned-out. Gifts for the sort of person who notices things like quality and who would notice immediate if it was lacking. Speaking of notice; when you give a mediocre gift to a Slytherin, they’ll be too kind to say something but also crazy-perceptive enough to remember it. It’s human nature to care more about receiving gifts than giving them, but this probably applies to gifted folk more than anyone.
We’ve picked a few goodies in this collection that we think meet that bar. When we were asking whether something was “Slytherin enough” we actually made ourselves ask: how would this hold up in the hands of someone with really high standards? Would they enjoy using it, or would they notice every single flaw because they know what quality looks like? Some stuff we liked was clearly well made but screaming overcompensation. Some was so subtle we’re not sure they’d even know it was Slytherin stuff. We wanted stuff that fell into the sweet spot. Articles that couldn’t be confused for any other house without actually being embarrassing about it.
Whether this Gryffendington is a birthday, Christmas, or you’ve just realized you needed a Harry Potter tree because Potterheads, here are the gifts that will wow your Slytherin friend.